I hate this so much. I can't bring myself to do things to get myself better anymore coz I'm just so sick of being on medication. This is like a depression in itself. It's just not fair. I'm tired all the time and I have no sex drive. I don't have a boyfriend, but I'm a 20 year old girl and I just want to be normal. I'm sick of not knowing how long I'm going to have to be on this medication. I'm gonna stop taking it.

I felt like you for several years. But when a psychiatrist pointed out that my depression is cyclic over 22 months, I took her suggestions to take medication for ever. It took a lot of acceptance on my part but hey, Hubby and I have a life again. At that point I couldn't function. We were both missing out on life. I felt *ill*!

Why do you want to rush? HOw did you feel before you took the medication? Remember it's not often a cure but a way of helping the brain generate seretonin so that we can get on with life. Although I have side-effects which get me down in the mornings i.e. I feel hung over, as I improve during the day I accept that I am able to do things - mostly - that I enjoyed before the illness, i.e. shopping, visiting friends, walking the dogs ...... I am no longer housebound with depression and anxiety.

Maybe taking medication should be 'normal' for you? If you were a diabetic you would need medication ......... what's the difference?

The thing is, that would be fine if I had no side-effects, but I have no sex drive and I just hate it. I don't do anything about guys coz of it, and that's no way to live, and nor is feeling tired all the time.

I can certainly empathize, I'm a 22 year old guy and taking anti-psychotics that kill all desire and feeling, but in the end some of us really do need to stay on medicines for a long time. It's better than being in the hospital for me. maybe you should discuss this with your P-Doc, there are some medicines that don't have those side effects (wellbutrin comes to mind), its all about what works best for you. My Doc is working with me to find something that works, its trial and error but usually you can find something good.

Yeah, thanks. I am going to disguss this with my psychiatrist.

Goldstar

Sex shouldn't be everything or even anything, but staying well should be! I'm married so notice my lack of sex drive because hubby reminds me <rolls eyes> otherwise it would not bother me one jot! However, feeling intensely tired does bother me, I often wake feeling I can't go on feeling *this* tired - however as the day progresses I usually brighten up and on those days that I need to catch up on sleep, I tuck up under a blanket ......... busy dreams causes me to be tired unless I wake naturally ......... then my head feels muggy and I don't think 'straight' or follow through ..........

Don't try to rush things however, take those little good moments and cherish them ........... don't concentrate as much on desire but put your thoughts to a good diet plan, exercise regime both of which can increase sex drive [apparently ;-)]

I've been struggling with this same thing. I have a hard time coping and end up on medication, after taking if for a while I feel better and start to worry about what is going to happen when if I get pregnant with another child. Will I have to stop the meds then and have to suffer while pregnant just to not harm the baby? I also hate the idea of taking meds for the rest of my life, not just antidepressants, but any meds. I have been off of my meds for this reason for a little over a month now and have been trying fish oil and b-complex to try and fill in the holes. While it has helped some, really all it seems to have done is slow down the rate and which I am spiraling back down. I am now back at the point where I am calling my doc first thing in the morning to get back on the meds cause I can't take this any longer. I sometimes wonder though if I would have been better off if I had just stayed on the meds the whole time instead of trying to quit them every once in a while.

man thats messed up because right now i cant wait to be on medication. so far my medication has been weed and alcohol. we all know thats not healthy but whatever. it helps cope.

Different medications do different things and I think one medication can do different things to different people (if that makes sense). Sometimes it is a matter of chosing the right medication and/or comming to terms with the side effects. Being on a medication is nothing to be ashamed of.. there are many people out there just like you who are probably older and have all the same fears. The fact that you can come here and post about it is a far leap above the rest...

I'll be honest, I'm feeling a similar way.

I've been level for a week now, but it feels like the whole world is even more fake.

Two antidepressants and a mood stabiliser... with valium on the side for bad days.

I don't know whats me and whats the meds anymore.

Hi Goldstar,
There probably isn't anybody on this Forum who has not felt the same way at some point or another. I remember feeling this exact same way a few years back. Ditching your meds on your own is never a wise idea. I know that the one time I did, the freedom of being med free didn't last for long and I ended up very sick. Now, I know what the alternative will be if I stop on my own.
Talk to your pdoc about your concerns. Also, you'd be surprised at how many 20 year old girls take medications; you are not the only one, believe me. It's okay to take medications like these, just look at it as any other illness that you need medication for. If you were diabetic, you'd need insulin, right? Maybe you won't even have to take the psychotropic meds for long. You may get better and go on in your life okay, without taking anything. Just don't make this decision on your own, follow-up with your pdoc, okay?
Peace,
Lucinda

I know how you feel. I was glad to be on meds, because it meant I could have a way to get out of this hell, but being on meds makes you feel dependant. It makes me feel like I can't do it myself. I hate the side effects that go along with it. I'm 20 too, and it's hard being on something that controls my moods like it does. I hate the nightmares that I get more than anything, I cannot wait to see the doctor and change this stuff. We just have to be greatful that we have an option of something that can show us a way outa this mess, because sometimes, it feels like the only other thing is to just curl up and die. I just wanna be outa this place and not have to be on meds anymore..we just need to keep up with what we are doing, and when we get to a point things feel a little better, and things stabalise we can be without meds. its just about time.

I get ya'll on this, I sometimes too want off the meds, I got off Cymbalta in July and now I'm on Symbyax, just wish I could feel like me again!!!

Hi,
I am also wondering if getting by on medication is worth it. I have been on and off Prozac for around 10 years now and can certainly feel new patterns in my personality I fee more lethargic and a general slowing down which makes me like a vegetable in social situations. The result of this has been avoidance of social interaction.
:(

I had to go through the roller coaster of on-off meds for a few years until I accepted that taking ADs as well as a beta-blocka for anxiety helps me enormously. By then I was in my late 30s and had 'lost' many years of social activity. Wasted years :-(. I hear you though, it took months to accept ........ but I NEVER want to feel that ill again. I never want that prehensile fear as I wake each morning, I don't want to suffer the ups and downs of mood swings; I don't want to wake wondering whether I will ever feel 'well' again ......... the nightmares and busy dreams are bad enough as they make me feel really tired ....... today I'm suffering, I couldn't drag myself from sleep and I have trouble getting motivated: I can see 'it' all sitting waiting to be done but ........

We do have options. I think many of us expect our medication to be 'the cure' but most ADs offer help in an already difficult illness. Once I stopped looking for a 'cure' and realised that I was beginning to function again - although not as before - I felt less scared and less 'anti-' ........ I have to accept that the side-effect of intense tiredness is better than not being able to function at all. Hey, some days are fine, I can look back and know I've enjoyed doing things.

My life has gone in periods: for a while I was an orthopaedic secretary in a busy hospital, I could not do that job now: I drove a lot to towns etc., now I can get to our local town only: now I can read and follow a story line on TV, for a while I was unable to do so .......... I try not to look back as I know I can't be in that place again because I have changed. Life has changed me in subtle ways as well as in reality. <shrugs> - accept .........

That's the thing, Rose24. These medications shouldn't alter you so much that you don't recognize yourself. I've been told that by many psychiatrists, unless you are a danger to yourself or others. I was once so overly sedated that I could barely function. The meds I was on completely changed my personality. It was too much. I hated the feeling and myself. I felt trapped inside of myself. No other way to explain it. Granted, I needed them for about 6 months; but, they should have been adjusted at some point after that. This doc just wanted me to be a walking zombie and I refused it after a year and a half. Now, when I told my new psych doc what I was once on, she was like "you actually functioned with this heavy sedation"? She could hardly believe it. So, if it don't feel right, speak up and let your doc know.
Just my experience and opinion.
Lucinda