I really love being a part of this site. So many here have offered me support and understanding when I thought there were none, that I was a freak. I also like talking with everyone here, offering whatever I can in the terms of related experience or suggestions and support. It makes me feel like a better person to be able to at least try to help those that are going through similar circumstances.

But sometimes... I panic. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing. My mind tends to leap about and my words get confused and I get lost trying to focus on what I was trying to say. That usually makes me seem to other people that I'm all over the place, or that I don't know what I'm talking about. I end up just being confusing and ridiculous when all I wanted was to offer whatever I could to try to help. Like, in recent posts I've tried to offer my point of view or advice and I feel like I just made things worse because I couldn't say anything right.

I'm not saying all this to get pity or whatever. It would just be nice to know that I'm not the only one dealing with anxiety when trying to respond to people's posts. Isn't it normal to feel a certain amount of pressure because we are dealing with other people's lives, and if we say something wrong it could really upset them or worse? And I start to feel really down when I feel like everything I say sounds ridiculous and I can't force myself to make sense. It's just so frustrating.

Hi Avery,

I can assure, you you are not the only one feeling anxious when responding to a post. I have days that my mind is all over the place and rather then responding to members, I choose to 'just' read on that day and come back to post when I am feeling better.
But even on good days I worry that I might say the wrong thing, we are in such a vulnerable state when depressed that I do not want to do anybody harm.

So, don't beat yourself up, it is okay. Any responds with good intentions is welcome here. Peer to peer support is what DF is all about, and you my friend, are a very supportive member here

Hope that helps,

SN

I can't respond to any posts at the moment either because I'm completely worked up. I'm trying to think as straight as I can. I worry about saying the wrong thing but its not anybody's fault. The brain seems to have two sides the good side and a scared side which can be bad and try and make you say the wrong thing.

I don't feel afraid on this forum.

Everyone has there point of view... I'm wary of meds., other are enthusiastic about them, who's right? There sometimes isn't really a 'right answer,' just different approaches to fighting depression and anxiety. So don't worry to much, everyone has their own free will. If you say to someone 'I think you should ...,' it's up to them to decide what to do. You're just giving an opinion.

((((((((((((((((( Avery ))))))))))))))))))


You make a great deal of sense !!!

You describe beautifully , exactly how I felt not that long ago , I felt I had been clumsy , insenstive and had hurt some one badly, when my intention had been to try to help them. And this is what is important , your intention , this always comes through, no matter how muddled we feel we have been , the panic and anxiety are normal when self esteem is shakey .

I truly believe that all the persons on this site are sensitive to the intention of posts, and any one who had doubtful intentions wouldn't last very long.

Yes there is a certain pressure in choosing words and phrases which are the most helpful, constructive , supportive and comforting, but that is what is good about this site , being sensitive to others , I really do think you have nothing to worry about . Hugs hedgehog

i agree completely. i think that everyone who comes here totally understands. when you respond to a post, what really comes through is that you are there for the person, even if you dont quite know what to say. i value those rambling responses just as much as the ones that get right to the point and make me sit up and think. most of us here arent only looking for advice, we're looking for a shoulder to lean on. that shoulder is especially valueable when we already know the answers in our hearts and we just need to get things off our chests. unless you are purposely insulting someone or making fun of them and their situation (and ive certainly never seen that from you), trust me, your true intentions shine through.

I know what you mean! i've found that here and other depression forums i've been a part of in the past, my brain flip flops between not being able to form a coherent sentence to wanting to type at warp speed everything i'm thinking about described 3 different ways. when i'm feeling crappy its much harder to articulate what i want to say, and i worry that it makes no sense. but when i see someone else's rambly post i feel a little more normal and less of a 'freak' as you put it, because i can see that i'm not the only one who sometimes has a hard time expressing things. thats one of the reasons i joined here, to communicate with understanding people who have been through what i have.
I like the way you put it goldfinch. a place that feels comfortable enough to get things off your chest can be just as important as the advice.

Hi Avery.
I know exactly how you feel. I don't respond to too many of the serious posts. I stick with The Lighter Side forums because I just don't know what to say. I can think it but when I get to typing it out it gets jumbled and then I say forget it. Most of the time someone else says exactly what I wanted to say anyway, so I don't want to be repetitive. I have been on other sites, but this is the first site where people get a response. I don't just feel like I'm being ignored if I ask a question or something. I always get a response.

I myself am new to this forum and trying to understand where to go for info - does anyone have suggsetions on where I should go to ask about my depression - which forum topic

The point of being here is that we all share a common disease: depression. I certainly know what you're talking about and have been there. Perhaps I can help by saying those symptoms decreased as I got better. Your point of view is valuable to us all. Please keep sharing it.

Avery, I have read many of your posts and would have never guessed that you feel anxious, because truly it does not come off that way. I agree, keep posting. You have helped a lot of people here!

I have also felt anxious - like a tight feeling in your chest -

Avery,
I think you've been a great asset to the forum. Like others have said, you're just giving your opinion and that's what we're all doing. I never find myself judging other people's opinions, only my own.

I usually don't feel anxious when replying (my brain gets too busy formulating thoughts), but I often get "sender's remorse". I doubt whether I've done anyone any good or if I'm just coming off as weird. Then I swear I won't post anymore, just read. But then I see a topic I can relate to and my brain just jumps right in...

John Mayer has a song that's sort of like this, called "My Big Mouth". It's about him saying the wrong thing during a date and beating himself up for it - saying he'll never speak up again. It sounds like the song has ended, then he chimes in with "One more thing...". So - maybe it's a universal thing. We get embarrassed, decide to bottle everything up, but it never works.

Keep posting, you would be terribly missed.

Tigerlily

Thanks everyone for your replies... I do feel better from your kind words and that you shared that a lot of you feel the same. I don't have many places to turn to with a lot of what's in my head, but you guys have always been there for me. I agree with dondi, my posts are never ignored here, it's so nice to feel connected with people who truly empathize and understand. And you guys have helped me put that in perspective to how other people would feel the same too... I guess I just need to back off myself a little, cut myself some slack. Thanks again.