Well, I've read over some traits and I've got some that don't quite fit in with just depression I guess. For the last 6 years I've been under the weather dealing with so much crap and feeling like staying in bed each day, but over the last 2 years I've had a hard time getting to sleep. The lack of sleep started from a pretty much anxiety and I guess that might still be counted as a trait. One of the main things I guess would be "rage", generally right now I'm angry of how all of this crap turned out and got to this point. I don't really get mad at people in general unless they really give me a reason to. Sometimes after going through certain events that happened and treading memory lane I feel like just wrecking "something" and let off some steam. I definetly don't hear voices and no I don't believe in god. I'm stubborn "sometimes", but only on things I really care about like completely insulting remarks on the CF and stuff like that, which are meant to be provoking. I don't know, I think I might just be getting worried for little reason, but maybe their early symptoms? Well I don't know, but might just be plain stress and just the anger brought up by memories. Generally I'm a quite guy, depressed throughout the day, suicidal thoughts coming often, not energetic to almost any level and pretty alone. I guess that lowers those chances by quite a bit, but does that point to anything? I have chronic depression and severe anxiety, but that's all I know of.

Hey,
Have you been to a Psych doctor, yet? If not, I would try to find a therapist, first and get an idea of what all you are dealing with. I had similar symptoms that you did. The not being able to fall asleep had to do with my anxiety and worry that I was going to die and that everything was falling apart. I was depressed all the type to one degree or another. Unfortunately, I was given an SSRI (Zoloft and then Celexa) and I wigged out on it. I became not only manic; but, psychotic! I went back to my doctor and he asked about Bipolar in my family and I really didn't know. I did know that I never felt like that before, just when I tried LSD once. I ended up with another Psych doctor and he told me that because I had a medication induced manic episode, I was bipolar. This pi**ed me off because talk about a career destroyer! He stuck me on these awful medications that did nothing for my depression and pretty much made me a zombie.
What I am telling you is that you need to go to a Mental Health specialist if you haven't already; but, read up on the medications they prescribe you before you start taking them. If you find out something that doesn't sound right, ask you doctor again about it. Not all these guys really know what will work for you and what not. Everyone reacts differently and it sometimes takes a while to find the right medication.
I am now on Klonepin because of the anxiety and I have PTSD (contributed to my inability to sleep well) and I take Wellbutrin because I suffer from chronic depression. So far, it has worked good for me (although the Klonepin can be addicting so you have to watch it). I got these prescribed to me by a totally different doctor. I actually went off of all those Bipolar meds on my own because I felt like s--t on them. I told myself that I would never go to a psych doctor again. I ended up in a major depressive episode about a year later. So, I went to another psych doc.
Try to get to a good doc. If you need a reputable website on medications and disorders, try the National Institutes of Health one. (PM member for website).
Lucinda.

Bipolar is a most difficult mental illness to diagnose. It may take months or even years to correctly diagnose it. It is best that you see a professional. You may think you have some of the traits after reading the FAQ sheet in here, but there are nuances that may say otherwise and that is where a trained professional is needed. Bipolar tends to run in families. Do you have any member in your family diagnosed with BP? What about other mental illnesses? I recall from another topic you have that you will be getting medication. Will that be from a GP?
Sheepwoman

I have been diagnosed with atypical bi-polar disorder with major depressive disorder. Throw in anxiety, and paranoia, and you get the mess that is me.
My quack of a general practitioner diagnosed me with only depression....I ran the whole gamut of SSRIs with nothing but disaster. They actually contributed more to my anxiety. I tried Paxil without effect, and then finally Effexor. The dullness, and the sexual side-effects were too much for me, and I took a week off of work, and quit all the meds cold-turkey (trust me, don't try it.)
I went on this way for over a year, until my self-medicating with alcohol turned me into a problem drinker, and I almost lost my job. Finally I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me correctly, but only wanted to throw a bunch of meds at me until something stuck. It was only when I went to an addiction counselor, and a more caring shrink that I have started to feel "normal."
This is all just background, to let you know that I DO know what you are going through. The advice offered above is good advice. Get a good doctor AND therapist. I feel that i have to have both, or it is a pointless endeavor. I disagree with the statement about the medications though. It IS a good thing to educate yourself about what you are taking, but I feel that if you have a doc you can trust, don't second-guess them right away. Frequent med-checks and follow-ups with a good therapist go a long way! If they start you on something that doesn't work as advertised, you can simply tell them how you are feeling, and you can try again. It is true that the doctors don't always know if a med is right for you, but a good doc will be right there along with you if it isn't right. Even the best doctors have to use a hit-and-miss methodology to find the best medication therapy for you, but if they are good, and you trust them you can find the best treatment together.

This post has been edited by Inqy: May 8 2007, 10:08 PM