You know how the recommendations say to watch out for warning signs? Well, I'm depressed and I feel I can recognize those signs pretty easily. So when my friend told me, after dropping two classes, "I quit at life. I should just commit suicide." Now, I've known this guy for years so I know the type of person he is, so it wasn't just that line. He was on ADHD medication and several years ago, dropped out of college. It was his whole personality and his experiences that led to me to think he might be depressed.

Anyway, I told him, that's not funny. He said he was just kidding. I wanted to ask him, flat out, if he was suicidal, but I couldn't. As anyone here knows, it's incredibly difficult to admit depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illness to someone else. I kinda felt the same way, but I was only trying to ask that sort of question.

I did end up telling him that if he ever wanted to talk, I'm here to listen. But I think he wants to talk, but can't. I don't know this for sure, but I've been on his end of this matter and when my mother (and other people) asked me if I was depressed, I said no. I couldn't bear to admit my depression. I did so to doctor several weeks later instead. When I did confront my mom about the issue, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

My question is: Has anyone felt this way too? Has anyone tried to get someone to talk about depression, suicide? How did you go about it? What were your experiences?

I think I've gained some understanding of how hard it is for people on the receiving end (loved ones, friends) to ask those personal questions.

Hmmm...I've never brought it up to anyone before, never really met anyone I thought was that way. One kid I let move in with me got kicked out of his home because he attempted suicide...but I didn't really know the details and our relationships wasn't that personal. I never brought it up, but I that time I was depressed to, so I wasn't too aware of other people.

I've had converstations with a good friend of mine whose sister commited suicide and she is very stern, but caring about the topic.

In my personal experiences...since I opened up about it first everyone seems to be more open on talking about it. That was about a year ago now. Occasionly my friends will ask how I'm doing and as my best friend put's it..."you're not thinking of doing anything stupid" That's in the nicest way...lol.

I think the worse thing about the conversation is the guilt and it's worse when people are just trying to push their views. I think the best thing is listening. It's a heated topic and it's hard to talk about in general...kind of like politics and religion.

I think it nice to have someone recognize one's pain though. I spent a lot of time angry after I told everyone about my depression, because they said they all knew but never said anything to me.

I wouldn't try to be pushing, but maybe try to feel the situation out and if you are really concerned you are probably well justified in it.

When I admitted to one of my friends at seventeen that when I was 14 I had lied and put on an act and did really have depression though I pretended i didn't she told me that she had known. I was just surprised that's all but not angry with her - I mean as far as I know both staff and familly were fooled by my lie after myunsuccessful attempt at being honest which endedin panic and heartbreak and misery. I rationalised my own death then and I still do now, as far as I am concerned, it still makes perfect sense if I die and I want to die yes but I gave up death and still do and am busily hanging about living when i don't want to live, because i know that the people around me do not have the mental stamina to cope with me taking my life of my own free will and ioout ofpersonal choice which proves beyond a shaddow of a doubt that I am their drug and they are addicted to me and i have to stay to give life to them.

I find it easier to talk about my depression with others. I'm no longer ashamed of depression as I once was. If people are truly interested and want to know, then I will tell them. As far as suicide, it's a very delicate subject no matter who you are. The hardest thing about someone relating this to people who are depressed is that it may trigger one into contemplating the same. My tdoc was the only one I confided my thoughts and plans to. I voluntarily admitted myself to the hospital at her urging and received the proper help to get through that dark spot. I would never burden people I know with that subject.
Sheepwoman

Suicide is a difficult topic and unfortunatly, people throw it out there when they feel horrible. There is a huge difference between thinking about it and acutally attempting it. The thing is, when do we know when someone is serious about it? One thing that therapist go by is has the person planned how they would do it? This is hard to ask someone. But say they are talking about it and said they were going to do ...whatever...I don't want to say anything that could be triggering to some people. If they say how they would do it, that is when most therapist consider the threat serious. But even then, it is hard to know. The best thing is always to take any talk of it seriously. If we look at the events in Virgina this week, we can see that people are unpredictable. There may be a history of mental illness, of many signs, but we never really know what someone might do.
I would sit down with this friend and say. "I am really worried about you. It scared me when you said that you want to give up on life, I really want to talk about this to you.". Atleast your friend will know you care. If he wants to open up he will. But atleast you can show your concern.
hang in there,
Misfit

Yes, I have been in the "same boat", it is very difficult to admit depression, suicidal thoughts to any one.

Now with the heavy load that doctors carry, I feel that the majority I have met with, leave me with this "I do not care attitude". When they have given medicine that seemed to work and you go back, I have had the doctors refuse to give another script (they are more concerned in covering their axx!). Having several painful cancers and then having to deal with additional problems - is the time you/I need more help and it (the medication) has been with held.

I find the best way to talk to people about this subject is referring to an imaginary friend, this always gives both sides the opportunity to leave the conversation with dignity, but the same time you both know what you are talking about.