January 08, 2007 Why does this make me so sad?
Of course all suicide is sad, but I really feel for Angie d**kinson and Burt Bacharach—two people I don't know but feel unaccountably attached to. Their daughter, Nikki, killed herself Thursday night. The family released this statement: "She quietly and peacefully committed suicide to escape the ravages to her brain brought on by Asperger's." She was only 40.

Bacharach wrote a song about her. Check it out:



"Nikki"

January 09, 2007 Depression Confession: Kelly Osbourne

kelly29hn.jpg

Okay, I know we don't care about Kelly Osbourne at all because she's utterly uninteresting. But this little dollop of celebrity gossip, from ContactMusic.com, will make you feel even more alienated from famous people than you do already:

KELLY OSBOURNE blames her privileged lifestyle for her substance abuse and depression, because luxury living brings about extreme boredom. The 22-year-old has successfully overcome her demons following several spells in rehab - but is always on the lookout for the signs of a relapse. She says, "It's so easy for me to fall back into depression. I think it comes with having money. I don't have to work. I could be sitting bored and depressed at home with a bag on my head."
[This photo is of Kelly and her mom, Sharon. I love Sharon. But in this photo you know she's wondering, "How is this my child? What have I done?"]

Just like you and me Ichbinkeinberliner

I've featured Ichbinkeinberliner before, and I love her stuff. She's also been very supportive of my YouTube efforts. Until today, I didn't know she did this video, which was a response to my video about weight gain as a side effect to psych meds. I agree with her general point: Better to be fat than psychotic. But I wasn't talking about psychosis. I was talking about a milder form of depression that might have responded to more Effexor but, as it turned out, ebbed away on its own.

It's great to hear from someone who takes this position. She's got an amazing sense of self.

I just want to say this, however: Someone wrote that I'm anorexic in response to this video. That is absolutely not true. I've written about every aspect of my life and my psyche; I hide nothing. I'm not ashamed of any of my problems. But I want to be clear: I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I have a tendency toward compulsive eating; that's the only issue I grapple with.

Why do people make things up about me? Ugh. Stupid. The Trouble With Spikol: Depression Lifted

Reply to Liz Spikol about Meds + Weight Gain


Posted by liz at 05:19 PM

For years now I've been unable to throw away old house keys. This is a problem when you move all the time. But today I'm considering throwing them all out. It just seems too neurotic to keep all these keys. But I can't seem to get them into the trash can. If I put them in, I get anxious and have to pull them out. Oh, OCD, you cruel master!

Okay, I know we don't care about Kelly Osbourne at all because she's utterly uninteresting. But this little dollop of celebrity gossip, from ContactMusic.com, will make you feel even more alienated from famous people than you do already:

KELLY OSBOURNE blames her privileged lifestyle for her substance abuse and depression, because luxury living brings about extreme boredom. The 22-year-old has successfully overcome her demons following several spells in rehab - but is always on the lookout for the signs of a relapse. She says, "It's so easy for me to fall back into depression. I think it comes with having money. I don't have to work. I could be sitting bored and depressed at home with a bag on my head."
Posted by liz at 04:23 PM |

[This photo is of Kelly and her mom, Sharon. I love Sharon. But in this photo you know she's wondering, "How is this my child? What have I done?"]

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

Sometimes I go to Survivors Art Foundation to get inspired. The website features artwork by survivors of trauma and abuse. Today I found A Boy's Story, a sort of online graphic novel beautifully told and illustrated by Robert Adam. It takes some time to click through, especially because each image is so striking and imaginative, you'll want to spend a little time with it. But it's worth it. I won't stop thinking about it for days, I'm sure.











I want to contact Adams, but I feel too overwhelmed by the emotion of it right now. That kind of honesty about incest is hard to come by. He's heroic for his bravery in telling his story. And for the beauty he's created from the ugliest act imaginable.

How do I put this so it won't be embarrassing? Let's just say I enjoyed Garden State just a little too much. I wept. I played the soundtrack endlessly. I became a Scrubs fan. It was all shameful. But he's Jewish and cute and sensitive and funny and, yes, depressed! What can I say?




Zach Braff Suffers From Mild Depression

The 5th Annual BrainStorm Poetry Contest is organized by NISA/Northern Initiative for Social Action, in Canada. Here's the press release. Get writing!

It's that time again, when poets pick up their pencils and enter the BrainStorm Poetry Contest for individuals living with mental illness. Join in, by entering your best poetry by March 23, 2007. Prizes will be awarded for the top three poems. The contest opened on January 2, 2007 and it runs until Friday, March 23, 2007. The top three poems, judged by a panel of mental health consumers and family members, will be awarded prizes and be published in Open Minds Quarterly, a literary journal dedicated to publishing the writing of individuals living with mental illness. If you are a poet who has experienced mental illness or mental health difficulties, download the entry form and rules today from www.nisa.on.ca.

First prize – $250 • Second Prize – $150 • Third Prize – $75

As some of you may have heard, I'm taking a new job in February. I'll be leaving my full-time editing position at Philadelphia Weekly, where I've been for almost eight years, to become the communications manager at the Pennsylvania Prison Society.

How does this affect you? Not at all, really. I'll still be doing the column for the paper, still doing the blog, still doing videos. I suspect the blog will have an added focus on criminal justice issues, but its mission will remain the same.

In the next few months, however, I'll be grappling with an enormously difficult transition—one that keeps me awake at night, which explains the late start I've been getting here. The only time I've been sane has been when I've worked at the paper, so I have this worry that I'll lose my marbles as soon as I walk out the door. I think it might be instructive for me to talk about the transition as I go through it: grappling with change in routine, new health insurance protocols, questions about how honest to be with your new employer, medication switches and all the implications of making a life change.

It'll be a case study of sorts, which should help me put some distance between me and the fear, and may be a learning for everyone else.

The Cincinnati Enquirer has a brief but hopeful article about turning PPD around, which is good, says writer Lawson Wulson, because it's been shown that depression in a new mother can have serious maladjustive impact on the newborn. From Wulson's article:

A persuasive study published by a group at Brown University showed that preventive counseling reduced the risk of postpartum depression from 20 percent to 4 percent within three months of delivery. Other studies have shown similar benefits.