Few things are more frustrating when people who have a lack of understanding of the mechanism of depression say or insinuate that the afflicted should just 'cheer up,' or 'feel better,' or just 'snap out of it.'

We all know that it doesn't work that way - that it's not possible to 'just snap out of it.' And if these people who make such hollow proclamations were educated on the subject, they would too.

But let me say this. I hope that I and all of you can keep in mind that life is an exercise in time, and that time is the most valuable and fleeting resource of all. When our health and mood is compromised, we lose more time; more time to appreciate and savor and enjoy some of the amazing things that life has to offer.

And I hope that we keep what's really important in life in perspective, too. In reality, there are but a select few things in life that are of the kind of substance and lasting significance that make them worthwhile - the taste of our favorite food or wine, the company of our closest friends, the touch of our most trusted loved ones, the pure and unadulterated laughter that comes from a moment of spontaneous humor, the sun that shines, the powerful and soul-stirring effect of our favorite music, the most poignant scenes from our favorite movie....the realization of unconditional love.

For 2007, I will not advise any living human, with soul and heart, flesh and blood, to 'just snap out of it.'

I will instead encourage all of you, as I remind myself on a constant basis, to separate the important from the immaterial, discard what's not relevant, and embrace our humanity - the love, the jaded, the soulful, anger, pain and pleasure...the smiles, tears, laughter, and sullen...the weak, strong, energetic and fatigued....the lust, the guilt, the inferior, the ideal...and yes....the depression.

We are all flawed creatures in an imperfect world. Let us not fall into the trap of trying to become flawless in a sea of non-existent perfection.

Let us all, in 2007 and the years that follow, embrace the range and variety of emotions and tastes and sounds and sights, some good, many bad, as we spin through time and space on a speck of universal dust, in an infinite space, that define us as humans, and that make us and our lives relevant.

For we are flawed in an imperfect world, with depression as one of our many burdens tacked to our rucksacks, as we journey through life. Let us embrace our depression as we struggle to cope with it.

This post has been edited by SomberJD: Jan 3 2007, 05:19 PM

WORD! Wow! You write like my brother! Hehehe - coming from Evin, the ever proud little sister, trust me, thats a compliment :wink:

I agree, life is crappy sometimes and sometimes it feels really bad, and one wishes one could just snap out of these feelings, but we all know thats not possible really. I agree with your comment about the people who say those things, thats such nonsense to say, but they dont know better unfortunately!

Also, I agree on cherishing the good moments and see whats really important from whats not!

Its important to be hugged and cared for by friends and family, to be loved and to love in return, to have good books to read, to educate our minds, to feed our souls, have a good time with people that matter to us, all these things.

Thanks for reminding me of the people and the things that matter the most in my own life!


Best wishes for 2007!

Evin

Great post, JD!

That was some good reading.

OMG JD that was great!!!! Very good post

Hi JD,
Thanks very much for posting this. I'm glad for this forum where people do understand this is not something one can snap out of.
I agree with you wholeheartedly, about life being an exercise in time. I also believe time is so important beacuse it is something that once lost, cannot be regained, so it is important to try and spend it as well as we possibly can. Some days for me with this depression, I feel I've accomplished something just by getting out of bed and doing a few insignificant things, but I still consider it a day well spent as opposed to the alternative. I also agree spending time with our friends and family and making the most of that time, even if it's just sitting around and talking, just being with them, is so very important. Thanks for the great post! Take care, Belle xx

Thanks for the compliments, everyone.

Writing to an audience that I know shares my experiences is very cathartic, as I know it is for you, as well.

When I began to write this, I was originally planning on using the 'bat in a cave' literary metaphor, often associated with some great American Poetry (i.e. the mind resembling a bat in a cave).

But that was too limiting, dark and foreboding. I am attempting to be a sojourner or nomad from now on, moving and learning. It is much more expansive and free.

I believe we have some control over our lives, and can choose our route, to some degree, if not always our destination.

I especially liked the last part of your post, because this resembles an idea that Ive had over the past years, which is that we are on a journey in this life, this is not a new image or a new idea that came solely from me, many people before me have had this idea and many after me will think the same thing. We are on a journey to a destination, depending on who we are and what we think and believe, some of us call that God or heaven, enlightenment, buddahood or any other thing you want to call it. On the journey we are not alone, because everyone else is also on the same journey as us, but in their individual lives. Sometimes, some people come to us as companions, theyre family or romance partners, co-workers, friends, or anything else. I call these co-travellers or companions (depending on what relationship we have to them).

I also agree that its easier to write things to people that we know are going to understand or at least can relate to what we are writing about and what we are going through!

Sincerely

Evin

My daughter and I went to some meditation classes that was led by a Buddhist monk. The first thing he had us do was to allow our mind to go silent. I had a difficult time with that! We sat in silence for about 20 minutes and I became aware of how wonderfully peaceful it was in that room. I didn't know these people but I felt close to them.

It is my hope in 2007 that with the help of my medication and practicing the things I learned in those classes that I will experience peace and I will be able to accept myself, flaws and all, and that I can feel close to others without fear. I want to live in the present not the past or the dread of what the future holds...I hope to claim my life and live it for me because it is mine. I don't want to save everyone else at the expense of my own health anymore...I can't fix everything and I want to stop trying too. I hope to have the courage to say NO! and stand my ground. I will believe in myself from now on...I want the put the ghosts of the past that made fun of me and didn't support me in their place...the past. I can't change what happened then but I can change what happens now and if the only thing productive I can do on any given day is make my bed then I will do it and hold on for better days are coming!

I accept that I can't just snap out of it. I accept the fact that I am genetically predisposed to depression and I have probably had it since I was a child. I accept the fact that it will probably always be with me but I know there is help and I am not afraid to ask for it anymore.

Wow! The WB must be kicking in because I haven't made statements like that ever... I sound like the prez in the 4th of July movie with Will Smith...when he stands up and makes the declaration to the people before they go fight the aliens.

I guess that is my declaration for this year and I hope everyone here has better daze too!!!!

((((((everyone)))))))

Hi, Somber,

I enjoyed and agreed with your post. I can really relate to the idea of embracing our whole selves. That is something I have been struggling with, lately!

Hugs to you--Aerial

Hi Rue, that was a nice post.

If I may, I'd like to add a little something to your wonderful post.

Don't deny yourself the relief of medication or therapy or anything that helps because you want to "tough it out" or "be strong". Do what helps, abandon what doesn't, keep searching for whatever will make things better. Life is too short to waste time trying to "overcome" something that isn't your fault. Nobody would tell a diabetic to tough it out without his insulin, no paraplegic would think himself weak for using a wheelchair instead of trying to drag himself around on his hands. Stand up for yourself and advocate for yourself, and don't waste a minute feeling guilt or recriminations for something that isn't your fault.

WORD! Faylen, thanks for the addition, it was great!

Evin

JD and Faylen...beautiful words and advice!...it will be understood, Insha'Allah...thank you!!!!!

Thanks SomberJD for your nice message.

I hope we will all have a better 2007 and will indeed find a way to cope/life with or overcome our depression

Good luck everybody.

SN