|
Log in
Donate To Depression Forums
Latest Forum Discussions
on: Saturday, 07 November 2009 12:58
on: Saturday, 07 November 2009 12:03
on: Saturday, 07 November 2009 11:45
on: Saturday, 07 November 2009 10:08
on: Saturday, 07 November 2009 09:23
Search
Current Poll
Find A Therapist
HOPELINE 1-800-SUICIDE
Depression & Mental Health FAQs
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimated 40 million Americans living today will suffer from major depressive illness during their lives. Seasonal affective disorder is major depression that appears in the fall or winter and goes away in spring, thought to be caused by lack of sunlight.
Postpartum depression occurs within four weeks of a women giving childbirth. Most new mothers suffer from some form of the �baby blues.� Postpartum depression, by contrast, is major depression, thought to be triggered by changes in hormonal flows associated with childbirth. Catatonic depression is a rare form of major depression characterized by (at least two): Stupor, excessive motor activity, extreme negativism, peculiarities in voluntary movement, and repetition of other people's words or actions. - mcmanweb.com
Psychotic depression is a rare form of depression characterized by delusions or hallucinations, such as believing you are someone you are not and hearing voices.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 18.8 million American adults, or about 9.5 percent of the US population age 18 and older in a given year, have a depressive disorder. Depression is a chronic illness that exacts a significant toll on
America's health and productivity. It affects more than 21 million
American children and adults annually and is the leading cause of
disability in the United States for individuals ages 15 to 44.
Lost productive time among U.S. workers due to depression is estimated
to be in excess of $31 billion per year. Depression frequently
co-occurs with a variety of medical illnesses such as heart disease,
cancer, and chronic pain and is associated with poorer health status
and prognosis. It is also the principal cause of the 30,000 suicides
in the U.S. each year. In 2004, suicide was the 11 th leading cause of death in the United States, third among individuals 15-24.
According to the World Health Organization, depression is presently on track to becoming the world's second-most disabling disease (after heart disease) by the year 2020. Depression is responsible for some $87 billion a year in lost productivity in the US (a conservative estimate), and according to Bank One, is responsible for most lost work days in its employees after pregnancy and childbirth. Additionally, one million people worldwide die by their own hand, most as a result of a mood disorder. Finally, the linkage between depression and a host of physical illnesses makes it arguably the world's greatest killer.
Research presented at the 56th Annual Conference of the Canadian
Psychiatric Association shows a marked link between bipolar disorder
and migraines. The odds of migraine in persons with bipolar disorder were 40% higher than the general population. Data
obtained from 36,984 people aged 15 and over, who screened positive for
manic or depressive episodes with migraine, were compared against those
who screened positive for mania but who didn�t suffer from migraines. Amongst
males, 14.9% of those with manic episodes were also diagnosed with
migraines compared with 5.8% of the general population. Amongst
females, 34.7% had both migraines and bipolar disorder compared with
14.7% who only had migraines.unquote.gif While the research was
skewed towards persons who were already diagnosed with bipolar
disorders, what does it mean for people who suffer from migraines but
who may have an undiagnosed bipolar disorder?
Migraines and headaches aren�t fully understood but the manifestations are very real and debilitating for their sufferers: Throbbing pain Nausea Heightened sensitivity to light or sound Seeing dots, wavy lines, flashing lights, or blind spots Difficulty with speech, sensation, or movement
An estimated 2.1 million
American adolescents have experienced major depression within the last
year, according to a new comprehensive government study. Researchers
surveyed more than 67,000 young people ages 12 to 17 and found that one
in 12 had suffered from serious depression in the previous year.Nearly
13 percent of girls had struggled with depression, compared to less
than 5 percent of boys. Odds of depression increased with age -- just 4
percent of 12-year-olds experienced depression but that climbed to 11
percent for older teens.
Think you can help?
Do you have expertise in a particular area such as Psychology, graphic/web design, journalism, public relations, IT, (Web Geeks Needed!) or fund raising? We need your assistance volunteering for DF. We're always looking for additional forum and chat moderators as well, keeping DF the safe haven it has always been for our members. If you're interested, this would be a wonderful way of giving back to DF. Contact Forum Admin for more details.
|
|
Learning to Live Again … June1, 2009 - Although I am writing this piece with
much fear and trepidation I do so with the hope that my experiences can
help others lead a life where sunshine shines a little brighter and big
black clouds are seen only in occasional showers instead of torrential
downpours. Normally the people writing these so called "words of
wisdom" are ones who have not actually dealt with the issue firsthand,
rather those who have read about it in book, studied it at school and
talked to others who experience the problem personally. Hopefully this
will help others walking in the same shoes see that there is hope out
there.
Four years ago I was diagnosed with depression. Denial
quickly set in. That sort of thing didn't happen to me! I was a "man" -
big, strong, tough and in control - and we don’t get depressed. Moody?
Maybe. Depressed? Definitely not! Depression was, as far as I was
concerned, a trendy catch phrase for weak people to hide behind or an
excuse for those looking for an easy way out of a tough situation. I
still believe that depression, along with stress, are often
misdiagnosed and prescriptions handed out to people far too easily but
in these ever changing times I also know that depression is one of the
fastest growing issues facing adults. I was lucky – I had a year from
hell and came through the other side stronger – but others are nor so
lucky Depression is still a word that carries a lot of
stigma: those with depression are made fun of, sniggered at and
generally labelled weak by most. It's because of this stigma that
depression gets swept under the rug by sufferers - particularly males -
who are loath to speak about its impact on them. Because of people’s
unwillingness to discuss a “mental illness” it is generally
misunderstood and rarely gets the public forum it so richly deserves. I
still have only ever told two people that I suffer from depression and
one of those was only very recently. But actually telling that person I
suffer from depression was such a massive thing for me to admit that I
had no choice but to actually put these thoughts down on paper. Depression
doesn’t discriminate - I have an extremely high IQ (the tests were done
whilst serving in the military), I am fit, masculine, self employed and
confident (and I'd be happy to step into a boxing ring with any man who
thinks that only "weak" people have depression) yet I have felt the
disease's wrath throughout my life. I also get bored easily, I think
too much and I care too much about the people in my life at the expense
of my own wellbeing but that's just me. I work in an industry that is
the envy of many yet I often question my involvement and worthiness in
spite of enjoying a good reputation within my chosen field. I am the
one who takes care of people and situations. I manage things; things
don’t manage me. I now know enough to accept that I had been
suffering since the age of 25 yet I managed to keep it hidden from the
world... there were moments when alone when I would find myself in a
strange space yet I'd go to the gym, hit a punching bag or go for a run
and I'd manage to hide it from everybody. I used to think I was just
moody (I am a Scorpio after all) but the signs were there. In my late
twenties I spent much of my time coping with the demands of two
businesses and an incompetent business partner whilst watching the last
10 years of hard work and solid financial security going down the drain
... my reaction was to use violence as an outlet. At the nightclub I
operated I would hit people with pool cues, rip earrings out of their
ears, throw them head first down three/four flights of (concrete)
stairs and generally test myself against any troublemaker bigger and
stronger than I was (and in a venue that looked like a scene from 'Once
Were Warriors' that wasn't hard). I look back now and realise that this
was what I did when I felt insecure and lost. Rather that look weak I’d
try to show strength, or at least what I perceived as strength. I am by
nature a gentle, sensitive man and I look back at many of these acts
with much regret.
I have always felt that suicide is for
cowards yet one day a little over four years ago I found myself sitting
alone in the bathroom of my house contemplating suicide. I had felt the
full brunt of six months of horrendous panic attacks that often lasted
for five or six hours twice a day and couldn't fathom what I was going
through … I really was a mess. I sat there for over two hours thinking
of the various ways to stop the pain yet ensure that my loved ones
wouldn't have to walk in on a horrific scene. The fear that my demise
could send my kids to a similar place to where I was at that point in
time terrified me. I have never felt as bad I did that day but I
understand now how people **** themselves and don’t judge as quickly as
I once did. To this day I feel sick when I think about it - how a man
like me could dip to that level is something I will never fathom. I
had given no indication to anyone that was how I was feeling. People
around me knew I had some "issues" of late (I had been very quiet and
withdrawn but for a quiet spoken man that wasn’t too unusual) but I
couldn’t and wouldn't let them know the extent to how low I had sunk
and just how bad I was feeling ... I didn’t want to burden them with an
issue that was 100% mine to deal with. Yet, the hardest part
of all was this trying to hide it from the world: outside I was my
normal, affable, relaxed, in-control self but inside I was falling
apart. Up until that point in time I really had not been a person who
talked a lot and I definitely didn’t share my feelings. I kept them
locked inside for fear they would be used against me. It was
at this point that I chose to seek treatment ... me coming to that
conclusion was extremely hard and one that I wrestled with for weeks:
How was I going to tell some stranger, someone who probably had never
felt depression first hand, my most intimate fears. I couldn't even
reveal these feelings to my wife and she was the one person I felt I
could always talk to. I admit I cried like a baby the night before I
took that step (I actually cancelled my first appointment) but getting
it off my chest it helped strip away the pain. Talking about my problem
was cleansing ... I had the year from hell but I've been good ever
since although just as an addict is always an addict I know I will
always suffer from depression even if its hidden deep inside. I
am a married to a good woman. She's beautiful, strong and a great
mother to our children. I tried my best to keep my illness from her for
a long time but it was only fair that I shared the truth; after all she
was the one who had to worry when I was carted off in an ambulance 3
times in the space of a month. She's been there every step of the way
although at times I didn't deserve her support. Even during “my year
from hell” when I did my very best to push her and everyone else away
she instinctively knew that as a friend she had to hold on to stop me
drowning ... We've had some great time/s and on very rare occasions
some trying ones but I've never regretted the time we have had
together. My only regret is that too often she has had to be an
audience for my pain and she deserves so much more than that ... I have
no doubt the past few years have been tough on her. Unlike so many
others who still look at the person they see in front of them as
normal, she knew the boy before the man and has seen a change in me. I
understand that part of her longs for the carefree spirit she met many
years ago and although it’s still there I fear she no longer sees it.
It's not that I've changed completely and have turned into a bad person
who is hard to live with at all but she treats me different now. It’s
as if she’s treating me with kid gloves for fear of upsetting me and
that is something I can’t live with anymore. I get very self conscious
with the thought that someone could be looking at me as “damaged
goods”. She has begun to find comfort in others – only recently I
accidentally stumbled across correspondence between her and a female
friend (she had left open an instant message chat on my laptop) where
she had stated she was having lunch with, and I quote, a “special”
friend - but for this I bear no malice and will never mention it to
her. Of course I could be reading too much into it but nevertheless I
can only offer what she has offered so often: understanding.
My
children are my heart and soul … I try to be the best I can be for
them. I teach them to express their feelings, to say I love you and
show affection, to be true to themselves. I think I am a good parent
although at times I don’t spend enough quality time with them. That
said, they are more interested in spending time with their friends
these days so we’re doing fine – just as long as I have time to kick a
football, play a video game, talk about music/boyfriends/movies/clothes
or share a hug every now and again they are happy. Most importantly
they all know that Dad is always here for them no matter what the
situation. I have never been one to blame others for my
mistakes and shortcomings. I have never asked others for help and
believe that one's actions speak louder than words. The way someone
acts and how they make others feel is the measure of a man. I have
always been someone who tried to do everything with my life... but in
reality I have ultimately ended up doing nothing. I think my quest to
be the best friend/father/partner/lover for everybody else and not
worry about me was quite detrimental to myself in hindsight. What’s
that song say? “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all”
… makes sense. I only wish it wasn’t so ****** soppy! Mine
was a normal, working class childhood. I went to a lot of schools and
as the new kid in town found the best way to fit in was not to get too
close to anyone and fight when they tried to test me (they always did).
I played sport and through boxing or football I managed to earn the
other kids respect and quickly made friends in every place I went to. At
10 I was sexually molested by a stranger but I never mentioned that to
anyone until my mid 30s and only three people, two of them my parents
(whom I never told at the time as I didn’t want them to feel like bad
parents), in the world know that to this day. My take on it was that I
deserved it for being stupid, maybe even enjoyed it … I now understand
that is what happens to children. They blame themselves for what has
happened rather than acknowledge that they are actually victims. It
wasn't traumatic at the time – an eleven year old in 1980 was pretty
sheltered – although it did mess with my self esteem a little as I
reached my teens. To this day I feel no anger for the man involved. He
has had to live with what he did …
At 14 I discovered
accidentally that my Dad was not my biological father and this became a
major issue for me for many years. It hurt more than words can ever
describe and I was angry for a long, long time but now I understand why
they didn’t tell me … they just didn’t know how. It doesn’t sound like
a big deal, particularly in today's society but in 1983/4 it wasn't so
common. At a time when I needed security to help me through the
tumultuous teenage years discovering my whole life up to that point had
been a lie was devastating. I kept this info locked inside for 5/6
months before saying something to my Dad in a fit of anger ...
something I regret to this day. He didn't deserve that after taking me
under his wing and financially providing for me from a small child. He
treated the three of us the same and friends would have never known one
of us was not his. Funnily enough to this day, I am the one who is most
like him …
It was this discovery that turned me from a
good, quiet kid into someone who overnight became a self destructive
personality for a 2 year period. I drank constantly, did drugs, went to
night clubs, foolishly fought groups of teenagers single-handedly or
tested myself against grown men and misbehaved any way I could. My
biological father was a lifetime criminal with numerous habits – he
stole, assaulted, shot, stabbed, beat woman, gambled and everything
else you would expect from inner city London thug in the 1960s. It was
not until my late twenties after watching a movie that I recalled
memories of the "big house" ... British slang for prison. It was here
that I would visit my father as a small child (how’s that for a nice
memory). My birth name is very uncommon so I made some calls and met my
aunties on a trip to England (I came to Australia as a toddler) a few
years ago. At this time I discovered he had been killed (or that was
what the family had heard at least) so I never got to meet him and it’s
probably for the best. I don’t know what would have happened when I
came face to face with man who had not only beat my mother constantly
but kidnapped me and left me locked in a room for days as a toddler.
I’d like to think I could just have looked him in the eye, said hello,
goodbye and moved on. I have often wondered how much of him is inside
me but I try not to think too much about that for obvious reasons … I
can't say any one of these things contributed to me getting panic
attacks or succumbing to depression at all but they have all been
targeted by my therapist (I never thought I’d be saying “my therapist”)
as triggers for it. Depression can affect people from all walks of life
– those from broken homes or houses filled with love, rich or poor,
male or female, young or old - but trying to overcome it alone is not
the answer.
Depression has a way of affecting and twisting
every aspect of your life if you let it but if you are willing to fight
and not wallow in the misery you can overcome! But it’s up to you. You
have to fight. You have to want to win. Only you can control what is
happening to you. Of course, there are times when letting go and
falling into that big bloke hole is easier than fighting ... and this
is why so many of us end up at the point of no return. One only has
such much fight in them. But life is series of battles, we all fight
them every day … you just have to get up and keep going. You
can and need to take control of every aspect of you life ... I know
sometimes you don’t want to but at the end of the day not giving in is
the only option. You have to realise that there are many things that
cause depression – it can be a chemical imbalance, a lack of self
esteem, a traumatic incident a change in status or environment - but
whatever it is you need to address it and, if need be, make the
necessary changes, I'm not talking about what you do for a living but
who you are as a person. If where you work and live ,or who you live
and work with is bringing you down then you need to make a changes...
but making sweeping changes won't change things overnight, and every
little change should be thought through carefully before one acts upon
them. At the end of the day removing the cancerous parts of one's life
is crucial. If it makes you happy do it, if it doesn’t don’t do it.
Pretty simple. I also came to realise that medication and
self analysis was only part the answer. You have to be able talk openly
with someone ... but be warned the wrong person can be disastrous. I
found talking to my wife tough as she often blamed herself for me
feeling the way I did ... she couldn't understand that it was about me
and me only. If I said (and I never raise my voice, I am not really one
for yelling) I was having bad day and needed some space she would reply
that she’s had a tough day too. I don’t think she was trying to be
awkward, she was just trying to relate and show me that she related to
how I was feeling. I just felt she was trying to turn everything into a
pi**ing contest and I became frustrated and even more withdrawn. She
wasn’t, but that’s how I took it. Some time ago I met someone
who I gelled with almost from the moment I spoke to them. I wasn’t
looking for anyone or anything. I had thrown myself into my work and
was trying to give my children the best of me that I could. It was
purely a chance meeting yet this person had such an amazing aura and
serenity about her that I realised only after a few very brief
conversations that she offered something that no person had offered to
me before. The fact that she is beautiful and extremely intelligent
didn't really register until quite some time later. I know she’s got
some issues of her own to deal with right now but when she reads this I
hope she feels proud and happy to know how much of a difference she has
made in one person’s life …
She may or may not love me. In
fact if I am honest with myself I know they don't feel the same way I
do at all. If pushed to give an answer I'd say they may (and it’s a BIG
may) love me but aren't in love with me. We have managed to become very
close over the past 12 months and I know I need her in my life ... when
I’m with her, or know I am going to see her, nothing can get me down.
She never judges me, she is a great conversationalist, she listens when
I talk and as far as I am concerned her eyes never lie. She’s not
comfortable taking compliments or expressing her feelings (she’s lived
a life without love from what I can ascertain from our conversations
and I’d be very surprised if she’s ever uttered the words “I love you”)
but I think I’ve made an impact on her life too. If she values me only
half as much as I do her then we’re doing OK. She hides it well but at
the end of the day her life is missing something and I only want her to
feel truly happy because I know the joy true happiness brings. She
deserves so much more than what she has and it hurts that I can’t be
there day in day out to give her what she needs. Thanks to her presence
in my life I have managed to stop taking the paroxytone that has been a
much unwanted crutch for the past 3 years (I’ve got past the brain zaps
and withdrawal headaches and, fingers crossed, don’t intend ever going
back). For me taking the medication was the thing that bothered me the
most. I have always been a fighter and by taking the drugs I felt that
I had given in and let the disease beat me. That’s not the case but
that was my logic. To this day I have never gone in and had the
prescription filled personally. I can't stand the thought of someone
knowing something that personal about me, especially if it’s showing a
crack in my armour. I now also know that companionship should
never be underestimated when dealing with the hardships life throws at
you, especially one clouded by depression. Finding true happiness is
paramount to your wellbeing. But when I talk of happiness I mean true
happiness. Not the stereotypical happiness that society, your friends
and family defines it to be. If a house, 2.5 kids and a white picket
fence is what you need then grab that and hold on tight. If you need
something a little less conservative go for it …. We are all different
but the one thing we have in common is the need to be happy and the
desire to be loved. I had someone I care for tell me recently they were
“happy enough” and it almost broke my heart. That was one of the
saddest things I have ever heard in my life… we all deserve to be
happy, not happy enough. Even though the past three years
have seen me bounce back to be better than ever I'm not someone who has
beaten depression. So, don’t think I'm some guy, head over heels in
love, feeling on top of the world who has decided to share his wisdom
with the world from behind rose coloured glasses. Just this past month
I've been informed by my friend that there's no way she can have a real
relationship with me and as much as I understand her reasons that it’s
our current circumstances that keep us apart I did take a look at
myself and wondered just what it is about me that’s not worth the risk?
Sure it would be bumpy for a bit but we’d come through the other side
OK. I’d always show her love and respect yet give her all the space she
needs but that’s not enough so it has to be me doesn't it? She’s not
happy in her current situation so obviously I'm not good enough for a
plethora of reasons... Sound familiar? That’s not really how it is but
that’s how we turn it back on ourselves. Still her presence has opened
up a whole new world for me and I am looking at the positives – as
pathetic as it sounds on paper I’m happy with whatever she chooses to
give me. Just this past week I had the best conversation I had
with my soon-to-be teenage daughter in two years! I'd had a revelation,
if me talking to someone who cared and listened could make such a
difference to me why couldn't I do the same for her and just be a
friend for a minute instead of a dad. To hear my teenage daughter say
“I love you Daddy” was amazing and brought a tear to my eye… the only
thing that made me sad was that I hadn't heard her say that in such a
long time. I am in a great place but know that deep down I am
still wrestling to take control of this big black dog that’s never too
far away... it’s always willing to start snapping at my throat but I'm
managing to fight it and keep it at arm's length. In boxing terms I'd
say I'm winning the round easily and feel optimistic that I'm on track
to win the fight. Whether I win the bout won't be answered until that
final bell sounds. But in spite of this slight hiccup my own
experiences of the past 12 months have proven to me that happiness,
coupled with honest communication and true understanding, can play a
major part in helping you live your life and conquer your demons. A
life without the one/s you love offers so much less so for your own
sake keep searching for happiness, be positive, stay strong and things
will be OK ... maybe not perfect but each day will be that little bit
brighter and you will be able to take control of your life. I'm doing
it, you can too. You don’t always have look at the rain, it’s OK to
look through the rain and see the sun ….
|
|
 |
|
 |
Spread The Word
4 Responses to "Learning to Live Again … " 
|
This Month In Pictures
Members Online
Medical News
A Potpourri of Mental Health Articles
Mental Health Parity News
Suicide Prevention Llifeline
Our Soldiers & Veterans
Andertoon
Depression & Mental Health FAQs 2
What is Clinical Depression? Clinical
depression can affect your body, mood, thoughts, and behavior. It can
change your eating habits, how you feel and think about things, your
ability to work and study, and how you interact with people. Clinical
depression is not a passing mood, a sign of personal weakness or a
condition that can be willed away. Clinically depressed people cannot
"pull themselves together" and get better. Depression can be
successfully treated by a mental health professional or certain health
care providers. With the right treatment, 80 percent of those who seek
help get better. And many people begin to feel better in just a few
weeks.
Depression a Big Factor in Poor Health World Health Organization Finds Depression Often Goes Untreated By Salynn Boyles WebMD Medical News Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD Sept.
6, 2007 -- Depression has a greater impact on overall health than
arthritis, diabetes, angina, and asthma, but it all too often goes
unrecognized and untreated, a report from the World Health Organization
(WHO) suggests. more... Depression a Big Factor in Poor Health
For Additional Information About Depression Write To: The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)6001 Executive Boulevard, Room 8184, MSC 9663 Bethesda, MD 20892-9663
For free brochures on depression and its treatment call: 1-800-421-4211. or visit: http://www.nimh.nih.gov
Link To Us
Please use the image below and the code provided to link back to us
Advertisement
Depression Forums would like to hear from you!
Depression Forums would like to hear from you!
Mental illness affects one in seventeen Americans. We
would like to invite you to share your story about
your Depression, as breaking the silence will help us to break open the
stigma surrounding mental health that keeps people from getting the
care that continues misunderstandings about those affected by mental
health disorders.
There is nothing better than to speak out, tell your story and get the word out! There is hope! Together, we can help ourselves and others. Warm Regards, ~Lindsay and The Depression Forums Administration Staff
Att: Mental Health Professionals
Take advantage of
this excellent opportunity
to promote your practice, research, career
and
expertise.
Depression Forums, Incorporated is now starting a
Therapists Directory so that we will offer to our members
access to a searchable database of Mental Health
Professionals and facilities Nationwide dedicated to
providing treatment services and support for
those with mental health disorders.
List your individual or group practice in
Depressionforums.org's
Therapist's Directory
and help prospective clients and referral
sources learn more about you and the services you offer.
Communicate in detail your unique credentials and expertise.
Contact Forum Admin.
Write For Us!
If you would like to volunteer to write for our DF blog as to what is going on @ depressionforums.org, then just go ahead and get in touch with us by PMing Forum Admin and we’ll get back to you at the earliest.
edclogo
|